|Artwork by||Scarlett Spike|
|Publication date||June 27th, 2013|
| Preceded by|
| Followed by|
Spike's musings about his new life, and how he's coping with coming to terms with who he was in the past.
- I do not own any rights to Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel.
They usually involved Spike being the victim of, and feeling, everything he had done as a soulless vampire, and the longer he have had his soul, the more uncomfortable he'd feel about them, and at times, he hated to admit it to himself, they frightened him. He was always trying to convince himself that they didn't, and no matter how much he denied it or changed the subject, she was always seeing right through him.
And how could she not? Whenever Spike would wake up startled, Scarlett would wake up too and see the distress in his eyes, and then she would proceed to try and calm him down. She'd hug him and caress the back of his head, she'd softly hush him and kiss his forehead and comfort him until he'd fall asleep. She had been there for him in every possible way.
And sometimes Spike felt guilty. Guilty for misjudging her three years ago, for thinking her attraction for him was just her being needy for affection, or just being sexually attracted. And maybe it had been that way when they started sleeping together; sure they had felt for each other, but neither knew by then exactly what they were feeling. They would bicker and make up on a regular basis; and Angel playing the role of Scarlett's proverbial -and overprotective- big brother hadn't made things any easier. But in time their relationship shifted to the friends-with-benefits level, and when he started feeling there was something missing, a very close call with the great beyond brought them emotionally closer. Spike had seen fear in her eyes, fear of him dying, and that alone had given him all he needed to move to the next level. And finally after many times of going to hell and back together -not literal hell, of course, but all the shitty happenings when you got a horde of demons after you for payback- he fell for her, she was his shelter whenever all the demons and ghosts from his past came to haunt him in his sleep. She knew exactly what he needed to feel better, from sex to simply hold him and listen to him. He trusted her completely, and such trust allowed him to lower his guard and show his emotional vulnerabilities because, since she had no ugly past sins to atone for, she was stronger than him, and her strength definitely helped him come to terms with his past, because after all, she was a vampire, a demon just like him.
Spike stared absently at the TV and didn't notice Scarlett had arrived home and was now staring at him, when he finally saw her, she simply tilted her head, an examining look in her face, turned around and left. He frowned, feeling a little hurt because she didn't say hello, nor kissed him, and when he was about to get up and go ask her what the fuck was going on, she came back, nursing a steaming cup in her hands. She placed it on the small coffee table next to Spike's couch, sat on his lap and gently kissed him and caressed his cheek.
"Thought you might need this," she said as she handed him the cup. Spike examined its content and chuckled, "hot chocolate and lil' marshmallows, eh?" She smiled back at him, "your favorites, you big baby boy", she mocked and made herself comfortable.
Spike knew his nightmares and ghosts may never leave him alone, but he found comfort knowing that, no matter what, he had her as shelter.